Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sleepless in Rhode Island

It is Saturday morning and 3:39AM now. I got up early in the morning again, the house is quiet. There is no body here now to cheer me up, to keep my mind occupied. Thousands of things are running through my mind and it instantly reminds me about my lover. She usually says "I am thinking of hundreds of things in my head right now".

There are many things that remind me of her. Actually everything is somehow having her image in there. I was listening to the song "Mua hoa bo lai" ("The left behind flowers"). I remember when we first met. I tried to translate a section of the Vietnamese song to English for her

"Life would eventually sweep away everything. For the young, mischievous autumn (the man), you are forgave, even thought you were late. I am the little flower (the woman) in the garden, i am sorry for could not being here with you. I was dieing in this garden's corner waiting while you were still wandering somewhere"

I listened to this song 10 times at least on the way i drove up to Boston and every single time, i thought about the dream that my lover had after i translate the figurative meaning of the Vietnamese song. She is so romantic and my heart got squeezed again. I don't want an ending like in the song.

There is another song that i just caught the meaning of it during the drive too "Van co em ben doi" ("You are still in my life") of TrinhCongSon. There is a sentence in the song that sticked to my head and my heart "For every healed wound, there will be a joy, there will be happyness".

I am praying to God right now to let our wound heal faster and each of us on each side of the wound will be the other one's joy, will get back together whenever the wound closes up to heal itself.

6:30AM and I was trying to get some more sleep when i felt a breeze went through the window. I felt a chill on my back. I tried to wrap my arms around me to get warmer. My heart squeezed again. You weren't there to hug me from behind to keep my back warm. You weren't there in front of me to keep my chest warm. I instantly found out why the breeze got me cold. There are so many empty space around me whenever you are not there. Now i understood your feeling whenever i tried to push you away from me.

God, please has my phone ring, please let me hear her sweetest voice from the speaker "Baby, let go home and fix our family with me!"

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